i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
