OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
