I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
