It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
