Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
