She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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