It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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