There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
