it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
