I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
