maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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