The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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