oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
