party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
