So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
