No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
