Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
