So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
