I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize