handjob tips. give me some.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
