I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
