even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
