So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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