the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
