You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
