This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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