Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
