I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The Olympian is in my bed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
