im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There r osticjed everywhere
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
