Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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