Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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