the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
