just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
