Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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