Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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