I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I puked a lego.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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