Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
