But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
