new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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