I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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