I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
