i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize