she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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