We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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