you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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