Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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