ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize