Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
