she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
