Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
