I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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