all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
