I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
