i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
