Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
can u get pink eye on your cock?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
did you just send me my own nude
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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