I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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